Pentimento

by Pentimento

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03:51
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04:13
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02:32
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03:28
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03:21
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02:44
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03:11

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Recorded by Jay Zubricky at GCR Studios in the Spring months of 2012. Copyright Pentimento 2012 - regardless of what anyone else tells you.

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released November 13, 2012

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Pentimento Buffalo, New York

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Track Name: Unless
...I stared out into what looked like always for what felt like forever.
Asking "What exactly would I have to do to make this mean as much to you as it means to me?"
But there's something you're not saying, and those eyes give you away.

I'm holding on to all of the things that I've done wrong, and mistakes I've made over and over.
I'm holding on to all the mistakes I've made.

So I wrote this down as fact
just in case I had the chance)
just to say that hope is something that's been built to hold you back.
Everyone I know considers me a joke. With good reason I suppose.

I'm holding on to all of the things that I've done wrong, and mistakes I've made over and over.
I'm holding on to all the mistakes I've made.

It was all in your goodbye...

I'm holding on to all of the things that I've done wrong, and mistakes I've made over and over.
I'm holding on to all the mistakes I've made...

Because all I am is a used to be, a yesterday, a memory.
I see so much that comes and goes.
It makes me wonder what's worth it anymore.
Track Name: Circles
I'm just a voice on the phone.
You're just a face in a frame.
So it's no surprise to see the shape you take.
You're so fragile. You're so full of blame.
But I don't blame you.

All those promises that you had made to keep,
I guess you'll keep eventually, to anyone but me.
Your words and your ways are two completely different things.

There's so much truth in all our humor, and so much humor in our truth.
So I'm laughing at all the things that I thought I knew.
I thought I knew you.

All those promises that you had made to keep,
I guess you'll keep eventually to anyone but me.
Your words and your ways are two completely different things.

But could you imagine what would happen if we were to stay still
and tell our breath just to exhale our innocence?
The tide goes in, the tide goes out.
We're growing up to grow apart.

All those promises that you had made to keep,
I guess you'll keep eventually to anyone but me.
Your words and your ways are two completely different things.

The tide goes in. The tide goes out.
(Like how I was there when you needed me but you just couldn't do the same)
We're growing up to grow apart.
Track Name: Conscience (Consequence)
I'm making excuses to justify my conclusions
and bypass convictions that I have.
I'm not ashamed to admit my feelings
Until it comes down to someone who counts.
I'm acting like I'm supposed to save the world,
but I just want to seem real to other people.

It's in the way that my brain tells my mouth to say something relevant
to get a laugh and feel approved.
I still imagine how often old dead trees show the wind
just to prove they have the worth.

Like how much we disregard ourselves
just to treasure someone else.

And I'm still speaking like it's possible to change.
But it's not possible to wait.
As the days and nights continue, you can see it taking shape.
It's nothing into nothing, always running in place.

So I talk to all my friends about the quicksand that I'm in
As if it'd change the way I live.
(I can't stay stuck like this forever)
There's been so many autumns since then
And many "others" that have came and went.

I'll never look at anything that we once had the same way again.
I can't stay stuck like this.
I'll never look at this the same way again.
I can't stay stuck like this forever.
Track Name: The Wind
I told you I needed to go wherever the wind took me, and you said:
"Please let me be the wind, because I've been holding on for so long".

I stood on that roof, hoping that you were noticing me thinking of you.
I looked out onto our city - waiting for you...
To forget about me.

But I never gave up on you.
Don't give up on me.
Track Name: No One Lets You Know
I stepped in to my old room in the house I used to call a home.
20 years seemed to hit me all at once.
I've done a lot of growing up within these walls.

I held my deepest breath
thinking "I can do so much better than this".
But the closer I get, the further it seems.

When all the people that you know become ghosts
This is how you'll keep them alive.
One day, when you wake to see how everything has changed -
Your eyes will open on the cue of your alarm and you'll sing.

Your eyes will open on the cue of your alarm and you'll sing:
"Getting older is nothing but empty intentions to keep in touch
And promises about our faults that we planned on learning from".

Getting older is nothing but promises, promises.

Getting older is nothing.
Track Name: Days Away
It's been years with the hope kept close to my chest
That what I'll get will be better than what I have.
So I'll stay inside and try to sleep my days away.

I've been spending a long time looking down
Trying to figure out exactly who I am.

I can't believe everything that I let myself believe.

I have crumbled in ways that I hate to admit.
But I'm rebuilding myself one piece at a time.

I've been spending a long time looking down
Trying to figure out exactly who I am.

I can't believe everything that I let myself believe.

I'll sleep my days away instead.
Track Name: The Bridge (Acoustic)
This is an endless amount of elements
Constructed out of math and other things that I barely understand.
I stare from coast with every intention to seek another destination.

It's not about hate, it's not about pain.
Just compelling waves of thought that seem to wash over your brain
They're whispering "Do the right thing or throw it all away".

I just haven't decided if it's across the lake
Or at the bottom of it.
That wind is something I'll never forget.
Every time I feel it move, I'm reminded:

It's not about love, it's not about trust.
Just being comfortable collapsing on the shores where you wash up.
They're whispering "Do the right thing or throw it all away".

All we are is blood and bones and sometimes a soul.
(I'll throw it all away)
Track Name: Almost Atlantic
...and it caught me off guard.
The way things that I was so sure of simply crumbled away.
I woke up with winter inside of bones.
I'd never been so sure of anything.

You were the ocean, I was the sand beneath your waves.

And all the things that pushed us together
Are all the things that pulled us apart.
But I figure this is best
Considering my intentions
Just to chase, chase, chase until I'm satisfied
Then throw you away.

You were the ocean. I was the sand beneath your waves.

Everything I ever was ultimately added up to so much less than I had ever hoped for.
I am the furthest thing away from what you see in me.
But there have been times when there was no difference between you and I.

I wondered what sort of lesson was built in to all of this.
What should I take away?
Learning from this sort of thing isn't easy when
Your solutions are mistakes.

You were the ocean. I was the sand beneath your waves.

Everything I ever was ultimately added up to so much less than I had ever hoped for.
I am the furthest thing away from what you see in me.
But there have been times when there was no difference between you and I.

And you said all I ever do is run away...

I am the ocean. You are the sand beneath my waves.

Everything I ever was ultimately added up to so much less than I had ever hoped for.
I am the furthest thing away from what you see in me.
But there have been times when there was no difference between you and I.

I am the ocean. You are the sand beneath my waves.
Track Name: Subtle Words
I continue to wonder to myself if it ever had occurred to you
That pulling out the bricks might cause Our Walls to crumble.

Oh, what subtle words you use to make things up
To hide how you have changed and what you've become.

All in all you just wanted a place to belong. (where you're never wrong)
How quickly everything changes.
Once I'm gone, I'm gone for good.

Oh, what strong words you use to make things up
About the ways you swear that I've changed.
But I don't feel shame for not feeling guilt for what I've become.
Until I'm bones in a box, I never will.

I never have. I never will.

Oh, what subtle words you use to make things up
About the ways you swear that I've changed.
But I don't feel shame for not feeling guilt for what I've become.
Until I'm bones in a box, I never will.

I never have. I never will.

I never...
Track Name: For Winter
Am I dead to you yet?
As if asking makes any sense.
I'm taking pictures just to prove that I exist.
And I wonder if it's on your mind
Just as often as it is on mine.
I'm shaking hands with square one.

And now, I'm right back where I started from.

My skin and these bones
Within in this bed know all too well
They can't be alone.
So the currents of these sheets need little effort to drown me.
I'm sinking quicker than I thought.

O, I've been betrayed by my own body.

And now I'm right back where I started from.
Track Name: On Summer
And so it goes.
Such a natural ebb & flow -
The way that I seem to lose everything I love.
I blame myself for fucking up.
The weight on my chest was something I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I can't understand why I get so angry when
I hear things you say about how "over it" you think I am.
'cause I sure as hell would like to think that I've moved past
All the things that hold me back.
But the truth is...

There will always be that part of me, that pit in my chest;
There to replace the space you lived.

But the more I sink into reasons it didn't work out
I wonder if you've ever blamed yourself.

And no, I don't mean "blame" in some superficial way.
As if I could ever say you weren't good enough for me.
I mean that there are pieces of what we were
That were flawed and immature.
And your lack of trust, with a lack of reason
Helped fuck this up.