1. |
Not So Young
03:21
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"Is this all I am? Is this everything that I am meant to be?"
It's bringing me back to when I was young but not so young
That I couldn't sort my feelings out.
The kind of young where I thought I was friends with everyone.
But I'm not honest. You're not either.
What's the worst that could happen?
Is this all I am?
Is this everything that I am meant to be?
It was a welcome distraction
From a wall that I had yet to climb.
So just think of all the good you could have done
And all the time you could have saved
By not wasting it on me.
I don't mean anything I say.
Because all we want to know is whether or not we're alone.
(I don't mean anything I say)
Because all we want to know is whether or not we're alone.
(I don't mean anything I say)
Is this all I am?
Is this everything that I am meant to be?
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2. |
Just Friends
04:02
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You walked in, expressionless.
You were cold like the space between your coat & your clothes.
I'm in between deja vu & delirium. Remembering things that haven't happened yet.
I don't think before I speak.
What an empty attempt at a personality.
We're just friends 'cause that seems to be what makes sense.
Too bad it's all we'll ever have.
Oh, the weight of the decisions that we make.
The immediate gravity of everything.
I don't think before I speak.
What an empty attempt at a personality.
We're just friends 'cause that seems to be what makes sense.
Too bad it's all we'll ever have, over and over again.
The day you left, you came to collect all of your personal effects & I said:
"Too bad it's all we'll ever have..."
It was at that time that I realized that you truly knew me better than I ever knew myself.
And as you walked away you said:
"I had this crazy thought that if I loved you enough you'd see that you deserve it...
and not fuck it up like you always do".
We're just friends 'cause that seems to be what makes sense.
Too bad it's all we'll ever have.
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3. |
Any Minute Now...
03:03
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And it began with a subtle sense of apology
to myself for what I am, and especially what I am not.
Justifying my mistakes as if I'm owed anything for putting myself
in a position to hate every miscalculated move I make.
Stitch by stitch, I pull myself apart.
Then you take a deep breath and say
"Any minute now, things are going to change".
Yeah, I am still running away.
Wall to wall, empty like I am. How unfortunate.
It's in my bones to turn my back and not feel a thing.
There used to be seasons inside of my body that would radiate like Spring. My words came to me with capacity to forgive the cold in everything.
Then you take a deep breath and say
"Any minute now, things are going to change".
Any minute now...
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4. |
It's Okay
03:41
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"Just go" you said. "Not forever, just for now".
But what's the difference?
What's the difference? What's the point?
Let's be honest. You already had your mind made up
Before I even had the chance to plead my sorry case.
But it's okay.
Fast forward a couple months. I hate myself.
I hate my friends. So fucking what? (So fucking what?)
It's sad that it has come to this, but it was obvious.
I could feel it in the way you held my hand.
Like you were holding on to something you no longer want to have.
I know it's nobody's fault but my own. "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm just glad to see you go".
Could you imagine the sinking that my chest felt
After hearing something like that? Of course you can.
I bet you have. I bet it's keeping you up nights.
I bet it doesn't. Who am I kidding? Who am I trying to convince?
And it haunts me. Every single word you said.
But I never thought I'd say this. It's okay.
Not forever. Just for now.
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